Thursday, March 28, 2013

WANTED

WANTED: SEXY, SINGLE, MALE RUNNER

With really great stamina.  Since I need you to keep up...on the path that is.

Couch potatoes need not apply.  Unless you give a mean foot and leg massage.  And then maybe we can talk.

Gym rats?  Maybe.  But only if it compliments your run training.  Or Ironman training.  Or other endurance sport training.  If you wear Ed Hardy clothing of any kind or a toque in the gym, we can definitely be friends, but I like to eat bread far too much to date you, especially since you're likely to give me a dirty look and offer me a protein supplement every time I eat some peanut butter toast.  Sometimes with butter under the peanut butter.  Butter...my favourite food group.  Right after bread, of course.

Do you wear Vibram 5 fingers shoes?  This is a definite problem.  Those will have to go.  Unless you've read Born to Run and have tested every other kind of minimalist shoe determining that you cannot live without the 5 fingers.  If you going to run with those, you should likely go au naturale and kick it barefoot for reals.  Just saying.

If you get your downward dog on and are at least a semi-regular yogi, you probably understand just how amazingly a regular yoga practice compliments your fitness pursuits.  This makes you quite possibly the dreamiest of the dreamy.  Imagine if we could hit up a hot class after miles and miles and miles of running.  Nothing says recovery like pigeon pose in the hot room, yes?  With little clothing and a lot of sweat.  Sigh.   A gal can dream...

Are you a marathoner?  Ultra-marathoner?  Triathlete?  I hope so.  I'm super attracted to you if you commit to a goal and get after it.  Which is exactly what you need to do if you're going to train for an endurance event of any kind.  This usually means that you are goal oriented, determined and dedicated.  Qualities I love and admire.  And although ideally you love to get out there in a long race or two, its equally awesome if you just run for the sake of running.  This is something I understand completely. 

Not a runner?  This may be OK.  But I need to know:
1. Do you accept that I get out of bed before the sun on Sunday for Sunday RundayLongrunday Funday? 
2. Can you cook a mean zucchini, basil, tomato omelette that will be waiting for me post long run?
3. Can you deal with my toenails turning black and falling off (gross, yes, but honest nonetheless)?
4. Are you willing to massage my legs, glutes and low back on a regular basis?
5. Are you game to book holidays in places where some of the best marathons in the world are run so I can run them?
6. If we're going to have little runners, are you willing to purchase me the most amazing treadmill so I can get a few miles in here and there?

If the answer was yes to all of the above, let's chat.  Over coffee or tea, I suppose, since you don't run...and we can't chat while running...

And just so you know a little about me:
I love running, in case that hasn't been made quite clear.  It brings clarity, peace and stillness to my mind.  It allows me to feel a level of freedom that I don't quite experience doing any other activity.  Pure happiness, pure joy, pure energy when my feet are in shoes and my shoes are on the pavement!  It is an important part of my life.  It is moving meditation.  Simple, yes? 

So hopefully, Mr. Right, you're out there and you're reading this.  Likely after you've just finished a quick Thursday morning 10k.  Next time you run by me on the path, do us both a favour, turn around and at least TRY and catch me. 

Who knows.  Lightning may strike!