#runnersunite

So many things.  SO MANY!  Where to start?

Its been a busy, busy month.  Starting a new career adventure brings about highs and lows, laughter and (a few) tears, but most of all, a ton of learning and a whole new lesson in time management! 

True fact.  Very true.  There is ALWAYS time.  You make it because you just do.  Because you have to, want to, need to.  You just do, and it's worth it every time!

This morning, I did a long run on the track.  Second long run second week in a row that I had to make the choice: -33 plus windchill OR around and around on the track.  And since I'm learning to love winter, I chose to go around and around on the track.  Winter may be beautiful, but its damn cold here in the city that rhymes with fun!

Beautiful.  Sunny.  Damn cold!

On that note, I should add that my run on the track today, it was fabulous.  Yep, it sure was.  Why?  I had a buddy!  My first Regina running buddy!  Running is awesome on so many levels in its own right, but add in a new friend with great conversation, and suddenly going around and around on the track for an hour and forty minutes passes in the blink of an eye.  I should also mention that my Regina running buddy is an inspirational rockstar.  Seriously.  This woman is up to some pretty amazing things.  In a nutshell: full time mother (wee CS is just over a year), full time lawyer, full time wife (which is really like having 2 kids or so I'm told by my married friends), AND full time runner.  Boston bound in April, which to those who know running, will understand that to earn a spot in this coveted marathon is feat in its own right.  A tricky schedule to juggle no doubt, but she does it none the less.  While she's the first to admit it isn't always perfect, she manages to get it all in. Authentic  Inspirational.  And just plain awesome.  She is going to rock those Newton hills in Boston like no ones business.

If you're wondering how I met such a rockstar runner, I should tell you its a funny story.  I actually e-stalked her.  Found her name in some race results, a quick google search and several Sunday runs later, we have had the best conversations and I look forward to each and every run- track or outside in the freezing cold- because I just love hearing what she's up to.  Training for an endurance event is an amazing experience.  Having someone to share it with?  It's just the sprinkles on the (vanilla) icing on top of the (chocolate) cupcake.

And on that note, I must stretch.  And shower.  But maybe not in that order. #runnersunite.  Happy.

Running Scared

It's NYEve ya'll!  What a fabulous year its been, yes?  This has been a big year for me.  A huge year, in fact.  I've changed my job.  I've changed my life.  I've completely let go of some things that were holding me back and embraced others that have allowed me be authentic and true to myself.  And while that is a seemingly simple sentence to type,the truth is that it was a tumultuous journey that included laughter, tears, truth and love, culminating in some pretty damn amazing things.

2012 was I year that I didn't just achieve some goals.  I crushed them.

All but one.  And truthfully, it's the one goal that if you had asked me one calendar year ago, I would have said that I would achieve that goal with no problem, worry or a second thought.

Marathon.  2:59:59. Sub 3.  You still elude me.

I've reflected a lot lately on why it is that for me, the goal that should likely have been the easiest to achieve has suddenly become the most difficult I'm facing.  My Everest, if you will.  My Achilles heel.  The devil on my shoulder...in Asics and a lulu running outfit whispering "you can't do it..."

And.

Here it goes.

Massive Confession.

I haven't given this goal EVERYTHING I have.  I've held back.  Sometimes consciously.  Sometimes subconsciously.  But it is the truth, and one that's really, really hard for me to admit when I pride myself on encouraging other to commit 100% to getting after what they want.  I wanted it, but I didn't want it enough to give it what it deserved.

Allow me to elaborate.  In the past year I had the opportunity to train with a fantastic coach named Janice McCaffrey and a fantastic group of fast and furious (a fun and smiley and encouraging kind of furious) runners called Adrenalin Rush.  I ran speed intervals with this group once a week and sometimes met people for long runs on Saturdays or Sundays and was emailed weekly training plans that were structured around a goal crushing sub 3 hour marathon.  I was provided with unlimited access to the fountain of running knowledge in the form of a coach who knows her shit and a group of incredibly experienced runners who combined, have run in more races and won more awards than I could begin to list here.  And the truth?  I didn't take advantage of it.  In a nutshell, I half participated in the training program.  I did the runs I felt like doing, or the runs that fit into my schedule.  And the rest of the time I did exactly what I felt like doing- which could have been yoga.  Could have been training at the gym.  It also may have been running, but was likely not the running I was given to do in the training plan.

Why? 

I've thought about it and when I throw away that story that seems to attach to it, the answer is fear.  Plain and simple.  I was scared of failure.  2:59 is a huge benchmark in the world of marathons and I have questioned whether I am a good enough runner to get there.  Which, in reality, is a contradiction in itself since the advice I would give anyone else is that it IS possible if you think it is.  In my head, if I didn't run the 2:59 of my dreams, I knew I would have an excuse.  It would seem less frustrating and less of a mystery to me because deep down in my soul, I would know exactly why I didn't have the race of my life, even if no one else did.  And so there was a part of me that held back.  That didn't commit to the process.  That did not allow the universe to create the magic it does when I have allowed it to.  And the result?  No spring marathon and a disappointing (albeit awesomely disappointing if that makes sense) 3:13 in DC. 

If I've learned anything in this past year, it is that for me, running is a metaphor and a parallel for life.  And this was the year that in life, I really, really went for it.  And amazing things happened.  Moving forward, I am making the promise to myself that in ALL THINGS (running and otherwise) that I will not hold back.  Because, truthfully, working my ass off, committing to the process and not hitting a 2:59 is so much better than half committing and not getting there.  I owe it to myself.  I deserve to give myself my best.  Simple.

And so 2:59 it STILL is.  100% commitment.  Nothing held back.  Nothing to lose.  The result will be fantastic.  No doubt. 

Guess What

Guess what I JUST did?   Moments ago. 

I bought myself a special present.  I signed up for the Saskatchewan marathon.  Eeeeeeeeek!  Registration opened yesterday.  I am the 4th person to sign up.  THE 4th!  Come on, Sask-y!  Let's get feet into shoes, shoes onto pavement I mean ice and GET RUNNING!

Saskatoon, May 27th, here I come! 

This is like a Christmas present, a moving present and a present for no special reason present all wrapped up into one big present with sparkly paper and a shiny bow that I am giving to MYSELF.  It's been a tough week.  A busy week.  And I find myself struggling to get it all in.  I can't think of a better way to bring some focus and clarity to it all than to set a goal that will support my life with some structure.

I know the next few months will bring stress, joy, laughter, tears, wonder, amazement, question and everything in between.  I can't think of a better way than to BE in each and every moment of all of these feelings than to run.  To run and to breathe and to savour it all and to realize that it might be hard, but that doesn't mean its bad.  It just means it just is.  Running and training will be a time for me to take it all in, meditate on it and appreciate the moment. 

After all...























So?  Do tell, peeps!  Whose got races coming?  I want to know!

The #sweatlife

I'm livin' #thesweatlife.  Big time.

Not only am I in a self-imposed 21 day sweat challenge (simple: sweat each and every day for 21 days), a part of my new job involves #thesweatlife.

How?

Simple.

I'm learning all about how people get sweaty, get fit, get trained, and get limber in my new community.  There is no better way to do this research than to just get out there and do it.  To sweat it out in gyms.  And yoga studios.  And the great out of doors with runners.  And the track.  And spin classes.

I am having so much fun.  Have I mentioned I love my job? 

And because this is a running blog, I best be getting to some running nuggets.

And so...

Two marathons planned.  So very exciting.  One in May, one in September, BOTH in Saskatchewan.  Both taking care of letters in my alphabet challenge.  Training has already started.  Not the running type of training, although I am running a fair bit, the type of training that prepares the bod for the running training.  Strength, fitness, yoga, fun!  All in the name of planning to pound out a speedy 26.6 in Saskatoon and one in Regina.

New races, new training, same running love.  Can. Not. Wait.

Through the Eyes (and Heart) of a Runner

I've been absent.  From the blogging world that is!  Reason?  I moved.  I wish I could tell you that I moved to a beautiful tropical paradise which is, at this moment in time, high on the list of places I'd really, really like to be.  You see, where I am at this moment in time is Regina.  Saskatchewan.  Canada.  And it is cold.

Hella cold.  Like -30C cold.  For my American friends who measure temps in F's instead of C's...trust me.  This is extremely and incredibly wintry and frosty!  However, it is also just so very beautiful.  I can say this with conviction and certainty, because as I've promised those of you who know me well, this is the winter that it happens.  I go from hating winter, to embracing and loving the frosty loveliness that is Canada in November, December and January.  And so, I've been venturing out into my new habitat bundled in layers and mittens and a toque for several runs.  True story!

So.  New city.  New job.  New temporary until I find one home.  New, new new.  And most importantly, new running routes!  Exciting!  One of the things I relish most about being a runner is the opportunity to explore the world on foot.  I feel like I get into my surroundings and truly notice whats around me when I'm on a run.  I notice things I would never notice if I was driving.  Names on streets,  Inscriptions on the sides of building.  People coming and going.  Since I'm in an entirely new environment, I find myself making even more observations than I normally would.  What follows are some observations I've made while I've been out pounding the pavement in the city that rhymes with fun.

I notice the trees.  So massive.  So beautiful at this time of year, covered in snow and Christmas lights and frost.  I love the way they canopy over the streets, protection from the elements for anyone who is crazy enough to be out in elements such as these.

I notice the flat.  Or shall I say lack of hills.  For as far as I can see, just straight and flat.  Which is awesome when I'm running intervals, but I'm wondering how this lack of hills will affect my training and fitness.  I do love running hills, after all!

I notice the beautiful, old, classically designed buildings and architecture.  I love the presence it creates.  Huge wooden doors.  Beautiful stone columns.  Newer doesn't necessarily mean better.  This is proof.

I notice that for a small city, that there are fabulous running paths here.  And that despite the snow and the cold, the sidewalks are (mainly) cleared and the pathways are (mainly) plowed so a runner can hit a full stride without much worry about slipping on the ice.  So grateful!

I notice how the downtown is so different here.  I have run early in the morning and I have run late at night.  And it is quiet.  Deserted, in fact.  Not like the seemingly endless hustle and bustle that is Calgary.  All I can hear is the sound of the crunch of my shoes on the hard packed snow and ice.  Nothing else. 

I notice how running in Regina is so much like running in Winnipeg, epecially the flat and the trees!  And this makes me smile. It reminds me that I am just that much closer to my family who I miss so much that a day doesn't go by that I don't wish I could hug them all. I notice how running in Regina is not a thing like running in Calgary. No rolling hills. No river pathway.  No familiar faces running the other way.  No friends to meet for yoga or sushi when training is done. And this makes my heart ache for the familiar. 

And even though its cold, and even though its winter, and even though its flat...there is something beautiful and special about this place.  It doesn't feel like home, yet, but I know that in time, the path around the lake, the route around the oldest neighbourhood and the trek in front of the parliament buildings will become MY route.



And I can't wait for that.

The Perfect Storm

Resigning from old job.  Starting new job.  Relocating to Regina.  Packing my life into boxes.  Looming Hurricane Sandy.  Stressful.

The perfect antidote?  Run a marathon.  In Washington DC, no less, with 35 000 other members of the running tribe.

On Sunday, I took to the mean (which are not mean at all, and in fact, are quite friendly and lovely) streets of DC for the 37th running of the Marine Corps marathon.  This was to be my first full marathon in almost a year after complete training derailment with illness last winter and spring.  To say that I was excited is a complete and utter understatement. I was practically vibrating I was so excited.  Mind was ready.  Body was ready.  Heart was ready.  What I was NOT ready for, however, was the weather on this particular marathon race day.  In case you live in a cave with no interweb, TV or other various news media and missed it, Hurricane Sandy made landfall on Sunday evening and Monday for this region of the northeast coast.  And while I was not running in brutal rain or cold temperatures, I was facing some pretty darn spectacular winds.

Rewind to the starting line of said marathon.  The Marine Corps marathon is unique in that you not only run Washington DC, you also run some parts of Arlington, Virginia.  The start line is in Arlington and much like the other large races I've participated in, this means an early wake up call and camping out in the dark in a large parking lot until the official start time of the race.  Definitely not ideal for running fast, but super fun in its own right.  I met some lovely people that were a nice distraction from the pre-race jitters.

As for the course itself, the first 15k of this race are spectacular!  It is run on the back roads in Arlington, which meant protection from the wind, beautiful fall colours lining the course, winding roads and rolling hills.  To be honest, my legs weren't feeling it right from the start.  Although I was running with control and maintaining my goal race pace without labouring, it still felt a tiny bit foreign.

And then I hit the wind.

For those of you reading this (wouldn't it be awesome if my blog went viral?  Just saying :) , maybe send me some interweb love and share this post) who haven't had the pleasure of pounding out a 26.2 mile road race, it is an amazing, if not incredibly challenging feat in its own right.  When you throw in an added complication like this brutal wind, a tough situation just gets that much tougher.

I have never experienced a wind quite like this.  At times it was so strong it was like running on the spot, which, when you still have 27km of running left, is not an awesome feeling.  I had a few fleeting moments of  anger and frustration, but I let go of those quickly and remembered why exactly I was running this marathon.

I was running it because I love running.  Simple.

I was running it because running allows me to feel a level of freedom that I don't experience doing anything else.  By freedom, I mean the feeling of leaving behind, stress, worry, anxiety, life, the feeling of being in and appreciating the moment, and the sense of feeling completely alive.  Simple.

And although I had a pretty ambitious time goal in this race (2:59 in case you don't know or I haven't put it out there into the universe enough) I had to remind myself that in every single race that I run, the first and most important goal is to enjoy it, to love it and to have an amazing experience doing it.

Perception really IS everything.  Once I remembered these small things, my body felt lighter.  I smiled and laughed.  I started to notice more my beautiful surroundings and the wonderful spectators and volunteers who, despite the cold and wind came out to support all 35 000 runners on a day when they likely should have been preparing for the disaster that was about to strike their city in hurricane form.  What amazing generosity, kindness and spirit.  I enjoyed each and every step, even the last 10k which were incredibly painful and tough.  And although I was physically in DC alone, I felt the spirit, energy and love of my friends and family who I KNOW without a doubt were thinking about me during those 3 hours of time.  When they read this they should know that I felt the love and energy and used it.  A big, BIG hug to those people- you all know who you are.

This is what mile 23 of a 26.2 mile road race appears to look like.  Special thanks to Bobby Gill, friend and lululemon run ambassador extraordinaire who provided amazing runner support at the lulu cheer station and also takes fabulous pictures.  I'm thankful he caught me smiling.  :)

What am I doing?  Running a marathon and a doing a moving sun salutation in appreciation for the amazing cheer station  that was provided at mile 23 by lululemon.  Photo Courtesy of Bobby Gill.

 Running through mile 23.  Please note the sign.  And also note that I'm losing 2 toenails..  Badge of marathon  honour.   Photo courtesy of Bobby Gill. 

So?  Where did it all leave me?  With 3:12.  Certainly well off my personal best and certainly well off my desired goal time, but I am happy with my effort nonetheless.  I really did leave it all out there on the course and  couldn't have run any harder than I did.  And given the stress that has been my life for the past month, running in this marathon provided me with something so valuable and precious, that money could never, ever buy it and nothing else could ever replace it.  And that is, like always, peace in my mind and happiness in my heart.

Thanks DC.  Thanks Marine Corps marathon.    Thanks so very much volunteers and spectators.  I hope that your recovery from Hurricane Sandy is as quick as my recovery from the race.

And as for the 2:59, I'll get there.  I know I will.  And knowing is half the battle.

There is ALWAYS Running

Did you ever read something that inspired you? Made ya think? Forced you to wonder? Kicked you in the gut?

The following is a guest post. Obviously, I didn't write it, but I sure felt compelled to share it here for many reasons. In a nutshell, I am so honoured to have had the opportunity to train with this individual on Thursday nights. Not only is he an exceptional runner (super fast, I simply cannot keep up to him on interval nights no matter how hard I try or how fast I may run), he is an exceptional human being. While I don't claim to know him well, I do know that he is tenacious, dedicated and focused. I like it.

And he nailed it. Not just the amazing race he had in Victoria, but this idea that no matter where we are in life, no matter where the journey may take us, there is ALWAYS running. Through joy, through pain, through the ultimate highs and through the absolute shit...

There is ALWAYS running.

Please read. And enjoy.

This is a report about a race in which everything went right after a year in which a heck of a lot
seemed to being going wrong. If you’re training for a marathon, you may want to stop reading at this
point since I only ran 21.1 kilometres, or as my good buddy JB so eloquently put it in his Victoria race report, "Oh you ran a half marathon? Ask me if I give a f@%k!"

Having said that, I’m hoping my teammate JS reads this, because I’m thinking of him as I write, knowing he’s had a challenging few months and has just picked up what we all hope is a minor injury. He’s spent all summer training his ass off to be ready to run a sub-three marathon in New York. If he can make it to the start line in one piece, I know he’s going to have an amazing race
because he will want it more than any of the thousands of runners who line up worrying about the
multitude of things that can go wrong in a road race and especially a 26.2-mile road race.

In order to get to the ‘shit runners say’ analysis of how my race went down – you know, all the info on splits and everything else we runners talk about ad nauseam – I want to put how I felt at the start line into perspective.

Twelve months ago, I made the ill-fated decision to race on a bad ankle in Victoria and ended up
pulling out at the 15k mark. I later found out I had snapped my fibula. What followed was five long
months stuck in a walking cast, followed by a few months of battling shin splints as I stepped onto the comeback trail. As an aside, what ended up curing that problem was running more, not less, kind
of counter-intuitive. I discovered the value of recovery runs and was eventually able to follow coach
Janice McCaffrey’s program, more or less, which was always my hope. Surrendering to the program
and my coach was a major goal for me this year … as opposed to listening to my ego and trying to
come up with harder workouts or adding mileage, or racing injured...but that’s another story!
While this was going on, I had some pretty interesting things happen in my personal life. Without
boring you with the gory details, this included: a divorce, house sales and condo purchases, two
friends dying and my sister battling breast cancer. Why is this relevant? Because through it all,
running became more than just a hobby – it was a lifeline. Even when I couldn’t run, which was for a
long time, I promised myself that this wouldn’t be a comeback year, that this would be a year in which I would shatter my personal bests in the 10k and half. It was a very healthy and welcome distraction for me even if, in all honesty, it didn’t really matter whether I achieved those goals.

In order to keep those targets in sight through long periods when I couldn’t run and considered
quitting running altogether (I had a serious injury on the same ankle a few years ago due to soccer),
I did what I could. I’ve been doing core twice a day – almost without exception – since January. I
realize it’s not necessary or helpful to do that much, but having a routine helped keep me motivated
and feeling like I could come back stronger, even when I started to doubt that notion. Before I got
the all clear to run again, I was at the gym 3-4 times a week. And when I came back and couldn’t run
because I didn’t have access to babysitters (I have joint custody of my girls), I took them swimming
and dragged them around with pool noodles while I pushed off on my feet doing a kind of pool
running thing. I have no idea whether it made a difference but it felt like a great workout and I still
do it to this day – 2-3 times per week. Other than two weeks before race day (thanks to another
teammate, Patty), all my long runs were done on my treadmill for three months prior to Victoria. And
I HATE treadmills.

 The point I’m trying to make is that I felt that because of all these challenges – not in spite of them –
it was just a matter of time before I got to grips with my PBs. In my mind, because I’d had the will to
endure all those treadmill long runs, I had already proved how much I wanted it, and I would have all
the motivation I needed to get the absolute maximum out of my body on race day.

 It still took a while. I set a personal worst time in my first race back and got beaten by a 12-year-
old boy, who just happened to be a family friend of a colleague at work (he took great delight
in telling me that the kid didn’t even like running) but by August things were coming together and
I started gaining confidence. The Dino Dash 10k proved to be a big turning point. I decided to do
something I’d been afraid to do before: run without a watch. I still had one strapped to my wrist but I
was aggressive in my approach and ran by feel – without redlining - and didn’t check my Garmin until I hit the halfway point. When I realized I’d set a 30-second 5k PB I thought disaster may be imminent but I ended up staying strong and recording a 1 minute and 30 second PB. Two weeks later I ran by feel at Melissa’s, on a much harder course, and almost equaled that time while chasing down – or at least attempting to chase down anther Adreanalin Rush teamate, DG.

When I told my teammate Dougie the day before the Victoria half that I was going to go out hard,
what I meant was that I planned to be aggressive. Mark, another teammate, described my race strategy as “balls out” but much as I like that analogy - if not the mental picture! – that’s not what I
tried to do or ended up doing. I ran Victoria completely by feel instead of by Garmin. On a course where I wasn’t sure (a) what the pace should be through the early hills (b) what difference elevation would make and (c) how fast Icould go without red-lining, it was – in my opinion – the ONLY way to run. Instead of looking at my Garmin every kilometer, I wrote my desired kilometer splits for 5k, 10k, and 15-18k on my arm so I could compare when I reached those markers. What happened was that I hit 10k about 30 seconds ahead of my ‘dream goal’ pace of 1:18.00 and maintained that through to the finish. I ran the first 10k at an average pace of 3:39 and the next 10k at 3:41. My slowest kilometer was 3:46 and I did that at kilometer 6. My fastest was my last (3:25). My goal going in had been 3:40 to 3:45.

There’s not much else to say about the race. I was looking forward to running with others but ended
up doing the whole thing on my own. It wasn’t windy so it wasn’t a problem. I passed a whole bunch
of guys from kilometres 3-10 and in the second half I passed five people and was passed by one guy,
who later turned out to be a 1:08 half marathoner who was doing a progression run. He absolutely
destroyed me by running 3:15s at the top of the last hill. I didn’t run the last few kilometres that well – the twists and turns were pretty distracting when I was trying to put the hammer down – but it was a good feeling to cross the finish line and realize I had been able to beat my dream goal for the race – and more importantly, attain my goal for the year of crushing my half marathon PB. As I crossed the line I pumped my fists and yelled out what felt like an entire year’s worth of emotion. At the time I thought it was Whitfield-esque but unfortunately, after reviewing the race video I realize I looked kinda like a wooden version of Mr. Bean – story of my life!

 I’m now done for the season and pondering whether to run Boston. Unlike my friend JB, I’m a
terrible marathoner who questions whether it’s really worth training for six months only to be left
hoping that you stay healthy/avoid getting sick/are helped by the weather Gods and then get your
nutrition, fueling and race strategy right on the day. Even then, you might do what I did in my last
marathon and bonk or cramp and walk the last few miles. I admire all of you for doing it; I’m just not sure if I want to!

Whatever happens, though, I’m so glad to be back running again and I’m grateful for every run I’m
able to do these days. I’m convinced regular core and running by feel were big difference-makers
for me this year, but it’s always so hard to figure out what works for every individual. It’s entirely
possible the theories mentioned above are a bunch of bunk and that the biggest difference-makers
had nothing to do with training, diet or exercise. At our pre-race meeting coach Janice summed up myseason with the following words...

 “You’re running with happy feet.”